Sunday, 15 July 2007

The Stig

For Fans of Top Gear, here are some of the quotes from Jeremy Clarkson regarding The Stig. Hilarious

"Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist, pig-faced, waste of blood and organs."

"Some say he communicates only to a car's on board computer through binary code, and that he once killed a man who was towing a caravan, using only a steering wheel."

"Some say he sucks moisture out of ducks and he models his crash helmet on Britney Spears' head."

"Some say he appears on high-value stamps in Sweden, he's illegal in 17 U.S. states, and that his voice can only be heard by cats."

"Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground."

"Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his earwax tastes like Turkish Delight."

"Some say he was born in space, he's scared of bells, and confused by stairs."

"Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin's, and that wherever you are in the world if you tune your radio to 88.4 you can actually hear his thoughts."

"Some say his fingernails have 330 bhp and that he was raised by wolves."

"Some say he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal."

Some say he only ever points magnetic north, and that he was born in space.

All we know is, he's called the Stig.

“Well, if it isn’t my arch nemesis, Bart Simpson. And his sister Lisa to whom I’m fairly indifferent.” - Sideshow Bob

No comments: