First Post on Blogger :-)

Livejournal just wasn't cutting it anymore, so here I am on Blogger. I guess the next job is to figure out how to get my old posts over ...

If Apple Made Pocket Knives ...

Nice ☺

Thanks to John Spencer

"Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours." - Mark Twain

Number Generator Uploaded

Here’s a little program I wrote for fun a few years ago. It runs under Windows and randomly selects six lottery numbers. 10% of all lottery wins payable to me ☺



"Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." - Shakti Gawain

Online Tax Returns ... Too Risky ?

From October anybody in the UK wishing to file a Self Assessment Tax Return will have to do so online, otherwise they risk ‘severe financial penalties’.

Unless you are rich or famous.

In which case the system is not secure enough and you will be treated differently.

Are we not all entitled to the same level of protection and security regardless of our wealth or fame ?

For the full story see the Daily Telegraph

This kind of thing *really* annoys me ...

"The only difference between a rut and a grave... is in their dimensions." - Ellen Glasglow

Blu-Ray Wins ?

The High Definition format war may just have been won by Sony’s Blu-Ray technology. Blu-Ray has been outselling HD-DVD by two to one recently and this week high profile Hollywood Studio Warners Bros have switched allegiances to the format.

In addition Microsoft have announced that an external Blu-Ray player may be made available to connect to their XBox-360 console.

Reminder To Self: Buy Playstation 3

"If you can react the same way to winning and losing, that is a big accomplishment. That quality is important because it stays with you the rest of your life." - Chris Evert

Only In America ...

Rockdale USA. Police have initiated a program of placing a yellow sticker on your car if you happen to have left valuables on display. The sticker warns of the dangers of leaving valuables where thieves may see them.

Of course if you happen to be a thief you can just target the cars with yellow stickers .... mmmmm ....

For the article see here.

"If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now." - Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Soapbox Moment: Speed Kills

Speed Kills: So we are told. Only, it doesn’t. The term was coined during the seventies to warn people of the danger of meth-amphetamine and has recently been used to make us all feel guilty anytime our speedometer wanders over the posted limit. Speed doesn’t kill however and the public are not stupid enough to believe this.

The equation is as follows:

        Speed + Inappropriate Context + Bad Driving Skills = Danger

It’s only when the above three factors come together that we have a problem, and with that speed has been relegated to 33% of the equation rather than the 100% that the government currently tell us. I can and do speed, when it is safe to do so and I do not take unnecessary risks with my life or those of others. I am constantly alert, watching the road, reading the traffic. As I now often ride a bike (both motorbike and pushbike) I drive defensively, on a bike you don't have 2 tons of metal cage and half a dozen airbags to protect you.

At 100+mph overtaking in the outside lane of the motorway watching the road, the traffic, the weather, I am far less of a danger to the public than the sales rep in his Audi driving in the middle lane, six inches from the bumper of the car in front, appointment book open on his knee, cigarette in his mouth, phone in one hand and McDonalds shake in the other. But who are the police going to target ?

Why the obsession with speed ? Is it because it’s something that can be controlled and restricted without any human involvement or discretion and without considering context, through the use of Speed Cameras (Piggy Banks), removing the need for real policing or human intervention ? A simple equation:

        69Mph, Homicidal Criminal = No, 71Mph, Homicidal Criminal = Yes

The problem with drumming into our heads that Speed Kills is that everything else is driven from our minds, and with no police on the roads the other dangers are allowed to continue unchallenged. Here’s one example:

        Drunk Drivers. As long as they don’t speed, they get away with it because Speed Cameras can’t detect drunk driving.

Here’s where context comes into it. A drink driver is dangerous no matter what speed he or she is doing. Take for example a wet country lane during autumn with leaves likely to be on the road and a 90 degree bend. The speed limit is 60, but in this context only an idiot would take the bend that fast. How about driving at 50 mph, within the speed limit, of the A38 one morning in thick fog. Too fast given the context. I’m sure you can think of many examples yourself.
        
The bad driving part of the equation has to be tackled. We live in a state where we cannot smoke inside public buildings (public safety issue) and yet we allow a 17 year old with minimal training, a hoodie and a bad attitude to jump into a two ton machine and tear around the roads without fear of retribution (unless he goes through a speed camera) - where is the sense in that ?

When is someone in government going to look at the issue of safety on the roads and put forward a program of changes to address the real issues ? And can we please drop the ‘Speed Kills’ campaign, surely a product from the mind of the mentally challenged !

"Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future." - Charles F Kettering

Stuff

"Every thing you own takes energy away from you. Some give more than they take. Those are the only things worth having."

Paul Graham writes an excellent article that is so pertinent to me at the current time. I have spent my life, like most other people, accumulating ‘Stuff’ that I don’t need and wouldn’t miss. One of my future goals is to get rid of a lot of this stuff, clear the garage, clear the attic, take it to the tip, sell it on Ebay - whatever. Clutter is not good.

“That lemon tree’s a part of our town, and as kids, the backbone of our economy. We’ll get it back, or choke their rivers with our dead!” - Bart Simpson

Goats Sacrificed to Fix Jet !

From the BBC. Remind me to only fly British Airways in future ...

“The doll’s trying to kill me and the toaster’s been laughing at me!” - Homer Simpson

Speed Cameras - Stealth !

Apparently due to recent changes the Police are no longer allowed to receive the revenue generated by speed cameras, therefore they no longer need to publicise the locations ... Cumbria have already stopped publicising the locations of cameras and I suspect other forces will soon follow. So no longer will we be able to rely on our Road Angel or similar GPS based devices ...

Keep your eyes peeled boys and girls, oh and while you’re scanning the pavements for the tall yellow piggy banks try not to hit anything on the road ...

“Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.” - Homer Simpson

Finding a Good Camping Spot

I’m on holiday the moment on the East Coast and although I’m staying in a chalet at the moment, in comparative luxury, I am looking forward to my next motorcycle camping trip, probably in September. It’s been a while since I’ve camped and I’ve spent some time thinking about finding a good spot and the extra requirements of camping overnight with a motorcycle. I’ve compiled the list of tips below:

1. This should go without saying given the problems recently with flooding, but do not be tempted to camp too close to water in low lying areas. Flooding can occur quickly and unpredictably and can be inconvenient at best and deadly at worst.

2. Avoid hollows in the ground, both water and cold air can collect there.

3. Be sure to check the ground for creatures, creepy crawlies, rocks, roots, animal trails, broken glass etc.

4. Positioning your tent on very slightly sloping ground, and sleeping with your head at the highest point may make you more comfortable.

5. Put something under the stand of your bike if parking on soft ground.

6. Keep yourself out of sight of roads or houses if possible. Outside of the UK particularly you may be at risk camping, especially alone.

7. Avoid camping under trees. Objects can and do fall out of trees, from branches to creatures, it can also be more dangerous during a storm because of lightning.

8. Erect your tent with the door facing downwind, you will be warmer and are less likely to have something undesirable blown into your tent

Something to bear in mind is that in England you need permission to camp pretty much everywhere. As you are unlikely to even know whom to seek to ask for permission, be sensible and as much as possible invisible. Respect the land. Peace Out !

“How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? - Homer Simpson

The Stig

For Fans of Top Gear, here are some of the quotes from Jeremy Clarkson regarding The Stig. Hilarious ☺

"Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist, pig-faced, waste of blood and organs."

"Some say he communicates only to a car's on board computer through binary code, and that he once killed a man who was towing a caravan, using only a steering wheel."

"Some say he sucks moisture out of ducks and he models his crash helmet on Britney Spears' head."

"Some say he appears on high-value stamps in Sweden, he's illegal in 17 U.S. states, and that his voice can only be heard by cats."

"Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground."

"Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his earwax tastes like Turkish Delight."

"Some say he was born in space, he's scared of bells, and confused by stairs."

"Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin's, and that wherever you are in the world if you tune your radio to 88.4 you can actually hear his thoughts."

"Some say his fingernails have 330 bhp and that he was raised by wolves."

"Some say he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal."

Some say he only ever points magnetic north, and that he was born in space.

All we know is, he's called the Stig.

“Well, if it isn’t my arch nemesis, Bart Simpson. And his sister Lisa to whom I’m fairly indifferent.” - Sideshow Bob

Dangerous Creepy Crawlies

It’s important to keep perspective when talking about Snakes, Spiders and Scorpions. After all, what have they got to gain from biting you, they can’t eat you ! If they bite or sting it’s because they are defending themselves (some are more aggressive than others) and feel that you are a threat to them, which you could be, we can kill them, even by accident, far easier than they can hurt us.

Spiders

Many spiders can give a painful bite but there are only four species that are dangerous to humans:

Sydney Funnel Web
Black Widow / Redback
Recluse Spider
Brazilian Wandering Spider

Although anyone who is allergic can die from a reaction to a bite, whether it be from a spider or anything else, the four listed above are the only ones that can kill humans due to the strength of their venom and our bodies reaction to it. As far as I can ascertain their have been no deaths from these spider bites since the easy availability of antivenom. If you are bitten:

Clean the wound
Apply a cold pack
Take a painkiller
Go to hospital - quickly !

It’s an interesting fact that the ‘big daddy’ of scary spiders, the Tarantula is actually harmless to humans and can make a great pet. A bee sting is likely to hurt more than the bite from this beast !

Snakes

Snake bites are extremely rare and hardly ever fatal. Even the most deadly snakes rarely inject enough poison to cause death. The most deadly snake, and the most dangerous snake are two entirely different concepts. Some of the snakes with the most toxic venom, ie: the most deadly, rarely bite people.

The Most Dangerous Snakes are those that kill the most people. Asian Cobra and Russell's Viper probably kill most of the people who die of snake bite annually in the world

If you are bitten:

Be Calm
Cover the wound
Bandage the limb tightly, starting nearest the heart
Immobilise the limb with a splint
Take painkillers, not aspirin
Get to hospital quickly

Scorpions

The chances of a scorpion bite being deadly is almost zero. For the worst cases antivenom is available. Some experts say there is no need to even visit a hospital following a scorpion sting. If you are bitten follow the same procedures as for a spider bite.

Summary

Despite what I have said many people have an irrational fear of Spiders, Snakes and Scorpions. Personally I have a slight fear of spiders, but scorpions fascinate me (I’ve spent time in the Sahara searching under rocks and bushes for them !) and snakes don’t bother me either way. Understanding is the way to enlightenment some guy once said (was it Budda ?) and I hope the above was of interest to someone, and maybe dispelled a few myths ☺

Mr. Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr. Burns: Precisely.

Incredible Guitar Playing

Have a look at this. Awesome. This is the same song played by the guy who composed the arrangement. Even more Awesome !

“You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.” - Marge Simpson

Lean IT

Introduction to Lean

When we talk about Lean within the context of the Enterprise, we are usually referring to Lean Production or Lean Manufacturing as it is commonly called. I have shown below the 10 Rules of Lean Production that define the concept.

1.        Eliminate Waste
2.        Minimise Inventory
3.        Maximise Flow
4.        Pull Production from Customer Demand
5.        Meet Customer Requirements
6.        Do it Right, First Time
7.        Empower Workers
8.        Design for Rapid Changeover
9.        Partner with Suppliers
10.        Create a Culture of Continuous Improvement

An interesting set of rules, and not many of them are applicable to just Production or Manufacturing. Most could be useful when applied to other areas of the organisation.

In this document I intend to demonstrate how many of these rules, and the concept of Lean, can be applied to my own area of expertise: Information Technology.

Specifically IT as it is applied and used within the Enterprise.


Lean IT

Lean IT was first mentioned in a paper by AMR Research. They discussed Lean IT in the context of a Microsoft Business Solutions Strategy, I think however the concept can be applied much more generically across Information Technology within the Enterprise and it applies to far more than just integrated software, although an integrated software system plays a big part in helping achieve the benefits of Lean IT.

If we simplify the rules of Lean and make them more generic, then we could end up with the following five rules:

1.        Eliminate Non Value Added
2.        Review how Products are Provided and Delivered
3.        Improve efficiencies by reviewing ‘Flow’
4.        Produce Products as the Customer Demands
5.        Seek Perfection


How Lean IT Applies to The Enterprise

If we take each of these simplified rules in turn and look at how these may apply to the Enterprise:

Rule 1
Non Value Added can be thought of as the processes that we all deem necessary to the essential running of the business, and yet within themselves they add no value to what we provide. Within the Lean IT premise we can see that these processes could include paper based invoicing, paper based purchase orders etc.

Rule 2
From the perspective of the IT department, our products are effectively the services that we apply to our Customers, our customers being the Staff, Shopfloor Workers, Managers and Directors within the organisation. We need to look at how we provide those products so that we are supplying what is needed rather than what is asked for. More often that not, two entirely different things. The correct information needs to be put in the hands of the correct person at the correct time.

Rule 3
This involves the reviewing and streamlining of our existing business processes, the idea being to increase productivity and cut costs across the organisation.

Rule 4
Developing better relationships with all departments within the enterprise, enabling us to meet the needs of the user faster and better. An important issue.

Rule 5
We need to ensure that the users are actually using the products and services that we supply in the correct and most efficient way. Continually looking to refine and enhance processes across the organisation. Wherever possible we need to give the users a familiar environment in which to work. Constant refinement and excellent training is necessary to ensure that our services provide the best possible solution to the customer.

“It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.” - Homer Simpson